The bravest thing in here is the confession that you walked past the beer can. Most people would have written the tidy version where they hauled it all out and felt good. You wrote the true one. And I'd gently push against the shame, because the helplessness you felt isn't a crack in your stewardship. It's the proof of it. The people who pick up trash for a sense of superiority never feel that despair. Only the ones who actually care get worn down by it, because they're the ones keeping honest count. Feeling Sisyphean is what it costs to genuinely give a damn over the long haul. You didn't fail the ethic. You just felt the full weight of carrying it, which most people avoid by never picking anything up at all.
... there are nice, clean, pure people in the world, and there are icky people. And there are people perhaps in flux, or evolving, or still moldable. I don't think it's a matter of education, except by personal example to those who might look up to us as examples, consciously or subconsciously, as being those who are decent, take care of our messes, and respect the world we live in.
Yes! I think much of this is trying to figure out how to emotionally regulate knowing that I’m going to find trash even in remote places. Mylar balloons, I’m looking at you.
I have a lot of sympathy for litter pickers and litter droppers. There are people who are so far up themselves, so comfortable and so well fed that they can't understand why anyone would have the lack of gumption, the indifference and the gall to drop litter. Usually, money isn't the issue for litter pickers, virtue signalling is an important part of their leisurely lifestyles. I'm not talking about you - I'm talking about me. I tell myself I'm after a better world, a cleaner community and a fairer society but I'm also perhaps a bit blind to the inequalities I enjoy. I have a car, I have a house and my own wifi, and of course I'm no millionaire but I can get what I want, within reason.
What if I couldn't get what I want? What if I was so stressed and downtrodden, not by the week but by the century, by generations of inequality. By trauma and neglect and social media. What if I resented the idea of unpaid work of any kind - on principle - on the principle that my only focus is to make next month's rent and buy food, my only effort will be to that end. Get rich of die trying sort of vibe. I'm not saying that's how someone poor or depressed should think, or that they all do, I speak for nobody - I'm just saying that's why some people dropped their litter today. Some litter droppers are heroic in their own way.
I was drawn to your post because I too had a day when I mysteriously walked past litter that I would normally have picked up. I also dropped some litter semi-accidently and failed to respond positively. I watched myself in disbelief. It made me ponder the whole thing - what was it (and there are a good number of things) that was the actual driver for my deciding not to bother? And, I'm sorry to tell you, I couldn't answer. I'd pulled myself together a bit after about an hour and when I returned I hoovered everything up and felt even better.
I love this so much, Duncan. I should have wrote about the whisper of empathy I had, especially for the people who were living in the old RV. There is also likely some sort of addiction or issue tied to that particular situation, it’s why I didn’t report it. I come from a background that flirted with poverty, though, very much so. And it is also easy for me to understand that poverty can have dignity and respect tied to it, especially for the places that belong in the collective. Libraries, parks, public lands were a part of my childhood. I also know that forced minimalism can be a good if not uncertain place to be. Maybe this is a topic for a bigger story. It’s definitely underlying and I’m grateful you brought it up. I’m also glad I’m not the only one who has been overwhelmed by this so much so that you just walk by. I certainly have a lot more cleaning up to do ❤️
Honestly I feel his in my bones. Good reminder to put my gloves and trash picker back in my car with some bags to collect garbage in when I'm out.
<3
The bravest thing in here is the confession that you walked past the beer can. Most people would have written the tidy version where they hauled it all out and felt good. You wrote the true one. And I'd gently push against the shame, because the helplessness you felt isn't a crack in your stewardship. It's the proof of it. The people who pick up trash for a sense of superiority never feel that despair. Only the ones who actually care get worn down by it, because they're the ones keeping honest count. Feeling Sisyphean is what it costs to genuinely give a damn over the long haul. You didn't fail the ethic. You just felt the full weight of carrying it, which most people avoid by never picking anything up at all.
Thanks Abram, that means a lot to me <3 Worn down is definitely the feeling. Learned helplessness is the thing to push against.
... there are nice, clean, pure people in the world, and there are icky people. And there are people perhaps in flux, or evolving, or still moldable. I don't think it's a matter of education, except by personal example to those who might look up to us as examples, consciously or subconsciously, as being those who are decent, take care of our messes, and respect the world we live in.
I do think some people grow out of it and find their way from one place to the other. At least, that's my hope.
It’s like screaming into the wind.
I feel like I am having a meltdown every time I come across this somewhere on a hike or journey.
We can only take a deep breath and soldier on.
Yes! I think much of this is trying to figure out how to emotionally regulate knowing that I’m going to find trash even in remote places. Mylar balloons, I’m looking at you.
I have a lot of sympathy for litter pickers and litter droppers. There are people who are so far up themselves, so comfortable and so well fed that they can't understand why anyone would have the lack of gumption, the indifference and the gall to drop litter. Usually, money isn't the issue for litter pickers, virtue signalling is an important part of their leisurely lifestyles. I'm not talking about you - I'm talking about me. I tell myself I'm after a better world, a cleaner community and a fairer society but I'm also perhaps a bit blind to the inequalities I enjoy. I have a car, I have a house and my own wifi, and of course I'm no millionaire but I can get what I want, within reason.
What if I couldn't get what I want? What if I was so stressed and downtrodden, not by the week but by the century, by generations of inequality. By trauma and neglect and social media. What if I resented the idea of unpaid work of any kind - on principle - on the principle that my only focus is to make next month's rent and buy food, my only effort will be to that end. Get rich of die trying sort of vibe. I'm not saying that's how someone poor or depressed should think, or that they all do, I speak for nobody - I'm just saying that's why some people dropped their litter today. Some litter droppers are heroic in their own way.
I was drawn to your post because I too had a day when I mysteriously walked past litter that I would normally have picked up. I also dropped some litter semi-accidently and failed to respond positively. I watched myself in disbelief. It made me ponder the whole thing - what was it (and there are a good number of things) that was the actual driver for my deciding not to bother? And, I'm sorry to tell you, I couldn't answer. I'd pulled myself together a bit after about an hour and when I returned I hoovered everything up and felt even better.
I love this so much, Duncan. I should have wrote about the whisper of empathy I had, especially for the people who were living in the old RV. There is also likely some sort of addiction or issue tied to that particular situation, it’s why I didn’t report it. I come from a background that flirted with poverty, though, very much so. And it is also easy for me to understand that poverty can have dignity and respect tied to it, especially for the places that belong in the collective. Libraries, parks, public lands were a part of my childhood. I also know that forced minimalism can be a good if not uncertain place to be. Maybe this is a topic for a bigger story. It’s definitely underlying and I’m grateful you brought it up. I’m also glad I’m not the only one who has been overwhelmed by this so much so that you just walk by. I certainly have a lot more cleaning up to do ❤️
I was just in that area last week. Thanks for keeping it clean.
It is a stunning area with an incredible history!
I watched a herd of cow and calve elk chase off a coyote. I sat above the meadow about ¾ mile away above California Creek.
It’s heartbreaking, but we soldier on. And as you said, it’s not about education anymore. It’s about people thinking the world revolves around them.